Get Your Light Back – Relationship Coaching for Moms to Reconnect with Estranged Adult Children

Adult Child Relationship

Coach

If you want to create a healthy connection with your adult child, then you get to show up as a calm, confident mom.

What does a calm, confident mom look like?

Adult Child: “You always liked my sibling better than me!” replace with your adult child’s complaint)

Mom: “Please tell me more. I want to listen and learn from you.”

What happens most often is that the adult child complains to you, your heart rate increases, fear takes over and your brain is spinning with thoughts like these:

“This kid is so ungrateful! I did the best I could.” (Defensive)

“How can she talk to me this way? My parents would NEVER have allowed me to act like this!” (Offended)

“I sacrificed everything to give him a good life; now he’s telling me that I was a horrible mom.” (Victim)

“I am so sorry! Please I’ll do anything to make it right.” (Desperate)

“Once again, I screwed up. I should never have had kids.” (Worthless)

“What a liar! None of this ever happened!” (Judgmental)

You end up trying to explain to your adult child why you did what you did and often your adult child hangs up believing that you really don’t want to make the relationship better.

The reason you react this way is because you have a primal brain that sends you into panic and then you aren’t able to respond from your evolved, higher brain.

You end up bursting into tears or ranting in anger (or both) but still don’t have connection with your adult child.

About Me:

I wasn’t always a Life Coach. I am also a Certified Public Accountant. Numbers are my specialty and I have survived tax season after tax season and lived to tell the tale.

Coaching was a game changer in my life. Relationships that were good before became great and strained relationships began to heal. I began to trust myself and embrace the good, the bad and the ugly parts of my life. In short, my life became happier and that’s why I decided to become a Certified Life Coach – so that your life can be happier too.

Download Managing Estrangement Trauma PDF

Get your Free guide to managing estrangement trauma here!

Being Calm and Confident

If you want to be a calm, confident mom then you get to learn how to compassionately listen to your adult child even when what they are saying is hard to hear.

You focus on what they are saying without taking it personally.

You genuinely believe that you are good enough and that your adult child is good enough too.

You remember that your adult child is trying to share an experience with you because they want to heal.

You recognize and feel your emotions instead of pushing them away.

You treat yourself with kindness and compassion – releasing criticism of your past.

You grieve the loss of how you thought your adult child relationship was going to be.

You respond (instead of react) as the mom you always wanted to be: without judgment, with kindness and compassion.

You set healthy boundaries, when necessary, to increase positive connection and respect in your relationship.

You accept that the timing of connection is unknown but that when/if the opportunity presents itself, you are ready.

You allow your adult child their viewpoint without diminishing it or trying to change it.

You know that whatever the future holds, you will be fine.

Coaching with me is the easiest way to become a calm and confident mom who is ready for connection when the opportunity presents itself.

Parents today are often caught in a generational “catch 22”. We were taught to respect and honor our parents which meant that we were “expected” to do certain things: show up at holiday gatherings, be civil to our family (esp parents) and respond when our parents wanted or needed something. Sure there were always some estrangements in families but that was the exception, not the rule.

As parents, we taught our children similar things but additionally taught them that they can be whomever they want. Simply put, many of our children are doing exactly what we taught them to do: be whomever they want to be….which doesn’t always include “being” in a relationship with their parents….especially if they perceive that relationship to be unhealthy for them.

When we were children, nobody was teaching us how to have healthy relationships. We certainly weren’t taught how to feel our emotions or even recognize them. Our adult children want a different experience.…even if they aren’t always sure how to get it. That’s one reason estrangement seems like a good option to your adult child.

So what can you do? Take control of your life. I know you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you but the truth is that you are PIVOTAL to healing your adult child relationship. You just don’t have the tools to do it….until now. As your coach, I will teach you and help you practice what you learn.

Every bit of healing that you embrace ripples out to every person in your life, including the adult child who refuses to speak to you. Your healing affects their healing.

Book a Free Consult below!

How To Know if Coaching is Right for You:

You’ve spent way too much time listening to mean, judgmental thoughts about yourself
You struggle to know what you’re feeling except when you’re angry, happy or sad
You feel afraid of letting your emotions get “out of control”
You look to other people to help you make decisions
You are uncomfortable being around people who disagree with you
You react to others before thinking about the consequences
Your boundaries are ultimatums
You push away grief (and other emotions) instead of processing them
You put yourself last 99.9% of the time….well, when you were delivering a baby, you did put yourself first that time….
You don’t feel confident speaking up about what is important to you (unless you’re really mad)

Let’s talk. Tell me what is happening in your life.

Book a FREE 60 minute Consult where we discuss what’s going on for you and how working together can create deeper connection and happiness in your life!

I am pleased to say Bonny is a very sincere life coach. I really enjoyed being able to share some things that I never thought I would but that I knew ultimately would help me if I did. Bonny provided the opportunity for me to be heard about my concerns and fears. I could openly ask questions. Exploring different ideas and ways of viewing situations was very beneficial. Bonny’s feedback was very valuable. It was good to talk to someone with knowledge, experience and training to help me deal with my issues. Our sessions were really helpful and I really learned a lot about myself and life in general. I highly recommend that you work with Bonny because she is wonderful.

I learned things about myself that I didn’t know before. Bonny is patient. Coaching made me take time for myself, learn about myself and ultimately improve myself. I would recommend personal coaching with Bonny.

While coaching with Bonny, I experienced profound insight which allowed me to understand myself and others and cope better in my daily life. I really loved being able to have Bonny listen to things that I feel I can’t share with anyone else for fear of their judgement. Bonny provided an independent, non-judgmental perspective that helped decode the intricacies of human relationships. I felt the permission to free myself from self-judgement. I would recommend personal coaching with Bonny!

I hadn't ever considered life coaching. I had heard about it and it seemed like a lot of talk. Initially, I was skeptical but thought I might as well find out what all the huff and puff is about. Since the first session I could see and feel a difference of how I was looking at things. It's easy to criticize others and especially yourself. The challenge is to notice what is going on so that changes can be made. Bonny helped me see that we all have challenges and it's OK. I highly recommend her work. She's patient and witty, fun and understanding. I really felt/feel that she was meant to help others and CAN help. Thanks Bonny. p.s. 4 months later: I started with virtual ballet classes. It took me a while to get going, but I did it! Thank you, Bonny. Sometimes it takes courage to overcome uncomfortable things.

Bonny is a wonderful Life Coach! This was my first experience with a Life Coach and it was amazing! The change and growth have been absolutely amazing!
I was struggling with grief, toxic relationship, struggling with my relationship with my adult child, feeling unworthy and not enough. I felt weighed down and like I was in prison. Today I feel like light and free!! My family says they can see such a change in me, such peace.
If you are considering a Life Coach, Bonny is amazing!!! I absolutely love her! Thank you Bonny!!

I would highly recommend Bonny. I was a former addict trying to get my life together and was struggling with my emotions and how to live a normal life again Bonny helped me do that. I now see the positive things in life and don't dwell on the negative things. I also learned a bunch of ways to deal with my emotions. Since I started seeing Bonny, I got my smile back and am able to get along with all my coworkers and even got a promotion (which she helped me interview for).
1000/10 Highly Recommend

Working with Bonny in coaching sessions each week helped me to stabilize my life after going through some unexpected tragic events in my life. I use what I learned and practiced to understand my emotions and wholeheartedly accept things out of my control. I was paralyzed in negative emotions some days and could hardly function. I am still a work in progress - as we all are - but now I am enjoying life much more and am able to deal MUCH better with negative events in life. Coaching was well worth the time and money.